Lose Myself
by daseyisluv
Summary: Matthews feelings for Destiny spark but are there to many obstacles in their way of being happily ever after, or is true love enough to carry them through.Told mainly in matthew's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or dialogue owned by one life to live.

A/N : This a short story which I have completed in its entirety hope you enjoy it. Today is Matthew and Destiny's two year anniversary :)

**Lose Myself Chapter 1**

He was walking towards the auditorium for the second day of rehearsals. Yesterday sure was intense but hopefully today wouldn't be as bad. Deep in thought he felt someone bump into him causing him to grab the other persons waist. Matthew felt sparks flying then he looked up to see a very flustered Destiny which caused him to blush ever so slightly.

"Destiny. Whats wrong? You look a little flustered." He asked concerned not letting go of her waist. Matthew noticed Destiny bite down on her glossy lips. He shook his head at the thought of her lips.

"Must be butterflies , that's all." Destiny replied stuttering slightly. Little did he know true that was. Boy was her shirt soft he felt his hands rubbing against the soft and silky pink fabric. It felt right.

"Your telling me. I'm clueless about playing Markko - I mean loving - y - Langston and everything. We should go over those scenes." Matthew replied slightly nervous. He was a little too "excited" over the thought of doing those scenes. Unbeknownst to him he wasn't the only one that was.

"Lets go to the auditorium and go over today's scenes before rehearsal." He said happily. He noticed her get even more flustered than before.

"We cant got in there." Destiny replied placing her hands on his shoulders in order to stop him from going anywhere, little did she know he really didn't want to leave this spot.

"I don't understand. Why cant you I mean we go in there?" Matthew asked her.

"Because there's someone in there." She admitted biting on her lip once again.

"So isn't there room for more than on person in there?" He asked noticing her glance down briefly. He didn't really notice the direction of her glance. But when she looked up she was breathing heavily and her pupils were dilated, but he had no idea why.

"It's more - - more than one person its tw-two people." Destiny replied stuttering glancing at him briefly.

"What does that have to do with us not being in there? Last I checked it was a pretty large room." Matthew said curiously.

"They're kinda making out." Destiny answered.

"Who?" He asked awaiting an answer but when she opened her mouth someone else spoke instead.

"What is all this talk about kissing?" He heard Nate ask. Matthew and Destiny immediately jumped apart. He noticed Dani standing quietly next to Nate he felt a brief flash of guilt before tugging on his bag.

"I don't know what you to heard (or saw he added silently), but we were just talking about the play." He said glancing nervously at Destiny who looked away when he caught her gaze.

"Some heavy stuff in there." Nate said. For some reason he felt his irritation at him diminishing.

"Hot and heavy." He heard Destiny mutter while twirling her hair on her finger cutely. Cutely where was all this coming from? Today he was feeling all these things he didn't ever experience before.

"Dani and I actually went over our scenes last night. It really helped didn't it Dani?" Nate asked looking at Dani who just looked away with a strange expression on her face.

"Heads up. Coming through." He heard Markko call out, what was _he_ doing here? Before he really had a second to think about it he noticed a panic stricken Destiny follow Markko in the auditorium.

"Wait,Wait,wait. You cant go in there, No! Wait,Wait,No!" Destiny cried out after him. Why couldn't Markko go in there?

"Langston." He heard Markko say in a confused tone. Was it Langston Destiny saw kissing someone or was it someone else entirely that he wasn't allowed to see? Boy was this day confusing.

"Markko?" Langston questioned in a slightly nervous tone. He saw Destiny backing up slowly into the hallways. Matthew was having a_ hard_ time not focusing on her. It was like something in him was ignited and he kinda liked it. A minute later Mr.G was ushering them into the auditorium.

"Hey, Markko. Glad you could make it. Guys, Markko has an announcement to make." Mr.G said. Matthew looked over to Markko and noticed he had some large items with him.

"Yeah I'm making a video of Starr x'd lovers from rehearsal to final curtain." Markko announced to them.

"What do you mean a video?" Matthew asked.

"Like a documentary?" Dani asked.

"Are we going to be on TV?" Destiny asked. A smile spread quickly across his face.

"No,No. I'm doing it for Langston. It's not everyday my girlfriend's musical get produced, and I wanted to make a video diary so she'll never forget it." Markko replied. How nice of him to do that for her.

"Okay leads lets mark through some of the more dramatic material today so get ready." Mr.G said. Nate and Dani made there way on stage following him.

"I cant believe you would do that for me." Langston remarked sweetly.

"Why not? I'm way proud of you babe. And I love you , you freak." Matthew replied kissing her.

Matthew glanced over at Destiny once again and noticed she was glaring at Langston. Why was she so angry at Langston? He didn't get it. Matthew gathered her attention a moment later and motioned for them to go behind the table and she nodded following while he resisted the urge to hold her hand. The mere presence of her was driving him insane so he got out his script so he could look over the scene they were going over today. He flipped to the page Mr.G told him they would be rehearsing today. The dialogue seemed to blur before him when a certain word caught his eye. Kiss. He shook his head making sure he read that correctly. As it turns out he did. Matthew was going to have to kiss Destiny today. He gulped nervously. They had gotten close before but that incident hadn't been brought up since. Neither of them ; it seemed ; had the guts to say anything about it or she had forgotten about it. He wondered if she had truly gotten over him liked she claimed she did. A part of him an admittedly large part of him hoped she hadn't. While a very small part of him knew nothing would come of them. Today felt like the start of something wonderful. Shaking him out of his thoughts Mr. G announced it was time for them to go onstage. He followed Destiny onstage trying his best not to ogle her from behind. But boy was it mighty tempting. They took their spots onstage and opened up their scripts to the days dialogue. He was having a hard time keeping his nerves in tact.

"I can't believe this." Destiny said softly but passionately. This was going to be even harder than he thought. Damn.

"I can, You're the best thing that's happened to me i-in a long time , Langston. I love you." Matthew spoke passionately while gazing lovingly in her eyes. Her warm chocolate eyes. His palms were to sweat onto the page. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest.

"I can't believe how much I like the way that sounds." Destiny admitted breathlessly. When she was around it seemed liked the rest of the world seized to exist.

"It's okay. You don't have to say it back. I know some things take time." He replied. This scene felt oh so real. Like he wasn't just playing a character.

"I want to say it. I really want to say it. I love you ,Markko. I , do." Destiny admitted lovingly. He believed her he honestly did. Matthew took a step closer placing a hand on her shoulder as he tilted his head as his lips met hers. Once they touched he felt sparks and he deepened the kiss and he felt her tongue tangle up with his responding him to equal passion. A minute later they breathlessly pulled apart albeit reluctantly. He could still taste her tongue in his mouth and smelled her cotton candy lip gloss on his mouth. There was no way he could walk away from Destiny, not now.

"That was awesome you guys." Markko replied happily. Matthew shook his head slightly trying to emerge from this daze she left him in. He looked over at Destiny and noticed her smiling slightly, he looked away quickly.

"Thank you." Matthew replied as calmly as he could really manage at the moment. He felt like his body was on fire right now. _All_ of him.

"Really nice work,guys. Matthew I thought you perfectly captured the characters sincerity - - Markko's willingness to put it all on the line for this girl. Something wrong Destiny?" Mr. G asked. Matthew looked over at Destiny who had a slight dazed look on her face which she snapped out quickly.

"Um. I'm just working out the kinks in my character." She sputtered.

"Well you know it was a good start, I want you to think about Langston's vulnerability. You know? She lost both of her parents, she's gotten used to being alone in this world, and along comes this guy who says, "Hey, no matter what , I'm here for you," Now Langston wants to believe him, but its a real leap of faith for her. And that's whats makes the scene poignant. Make sense?" Mr. G asked her.

"Yeah." Destiny replied with a sigh. He could tell that there was something on her minds besides what just happened between them.

"You can do it. All right. Good job. Let's take a ten minute break." Mr. G announced leaving the stage. Matthew took a step in front of Destiny.

"Are you mad at Langston or something?" He asked curiously. Why had she been giving Langston the look of death earlier?

"You bet I'm mad, I have to play Langston the worlds biggest hypocrite." Destiny replied angrily. He furrowed his brow in confusion.

"How is Langston a hypocrite?" Matthew asked.

"Because she's pretending like she loves Markko and he's all into her. And she's just using him." Destiny replied bitterly. That could only mean one thing.

"Why do you think that?" He asked curiously.

"Because she's the one I saw in here making out – and it wasn't Markko. It was some other dude." She admitted.

"Langston's cheating on Markko?" He exclaimed quietly in disbelief. This was not good.

"And there's no way the guy you saw Langston with could have been Markko?" He hopped against hope that it was true however unlikely it was. Matthew and Destiny took a seat on stage.

Destiny shook her head and pursed her full lips. "No he was older."

Matthew turned his head and saw Langston talking with Mr.G. "It wasn't Mr.G was it?"

"Eww! No!" She said in a repulsed tone.

"So,Who?" He asked curiously.

"The hot guy at L.U. I think his name is Ford?" Destiny replied unsurely. That really sucks for Markko.

"Are you positive?" Matthew asked.

"Would I say something like this if I wasn't like this if I wasn't like 1000% sure?" She retorted looking over at him. He knew she never especially something of this magnitude.

He shook his head slightly. "Poor Markko."

"I know. And I have to play her. How am I supposed to be all lovey dovey with Markko now that I know whats really going down?" Destiny asked. He honestly had no clue.

"This is beyond weird." He remarked.

"It's a lie Matthew, all of it." Destiny remarked a bit loudly. He nodded not saying a word.

"What's a lie? What are you talking about?" Langston asked curiously. Oh crap she overhead them. This was _not_ good.

"I just meant that when I'm trying to play Langston …." She sputtered nervously. Destiny trailed glancing at him nervously basically hoping for him to finish for her. Man the things he would do for this girl.

"It doesn't feel real." But what a blatant lie that was at least on his part. He wasn't quite sure how she felt.

"Because some of the things that have happened to you and Markko haven't to me so it feels like a lie." Destiny replied nervously.

"Because Destiny and I aren't a couple in real life, so it's just you know hard to do sometimes." The only thing that was hard, besides a certain area of his, was sputtering this complete and utter that was _far_ from the truth.

"I guess that's why they call it acting." Langston said giving them an odd look as she walked away papers in hand.

"Man kill me now." She sighed laying her head on the piano. This time he did check out her admittedly voluptuous backside. And boy was it fantastic.

"Okay, that was way too close. From now on we stay out of this." He said. Besides he had some breaking up to do before anything further happened with them. His feelings for her were rapidly growing by the second. She lifted her head off the piano and turned around.

"Definitely, and if Markko ever finds out Langston's cheating on him it's not gonna be from me." Destiny replied. A second later they heard the opening of the auditorium doors.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I dont own the characters or the dialogue owned by one life to live.**

**warning: violence and slight swearing**

-Chapter 2

Matthew turned to hear the auditorium doors slam open. In walked a very angry Cole.

"Son of a bitch! Murderer. You're a murderer!" Cole screamed at Todd. He looked at Destiny with a look of shock on his face.

"Cole what are you doing? (Starr grabbed his hand but Cole let go immediatly) What are you doing?" Starr asked her concern evident amoung her face.

"I was right Starr , he did it. He pushed my mom down the stairs and he killed her baby!" Cole retorted irrately while pulling off his jacket. Matthew unconciously grabbed onto Destiny's hand . He didnt have a good feeling about things.

"You piece of dirt!" Cole yelled.

Todd scoffed. "You dont want this here son. Come on Dani." Todd gently grabbed Dani while Cole pushed her away angrily.A look of fear appeared on Matthew's face.

"Hey where do you think you are going?" Cole said bitterly.

"Cole stop that! He came all the way here, and I made him promise to tell me the truth." Starr said trying to calm Cole down.

"Since when does he care about the truth, huh?" Cole asked.

"He swore to me,Cole! He swore to me that he didn't do it!" Starr said emotionally.

"And you believed him?" Cole asked increduously.

"Enough. Stop,Stop. Yes I believed him. Okay?" Starr firmly replied.

"Well I'm sorry, but you're going to be really disappointed because i have proof." Cole said.

"What are you talking about? What do you mean proof?" Starr asked surprised.

"Hannah saw him. That's right, Did you hear that? You're not going to get away this time cause I have a witness." Cole replied smugly.

"Oh my god." Dani cried, hurrying over to Starr and hugging her.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about, so you better shut up before I kick your ass." Todd threatened.

"My friend was at the hospital, last night all right, So don't even try to deny it,okay? She saw the whole thing, she saw you - she saw you push my mom down the stairs." Cole spouted off.

"That friend of yours is a liar." Todd retorted. In walked Tea and Blair looking oddly chummy.

"You're the liar. That's all you know." Cole argued.

"I didn't do it, I didn't push Marty." At that precise moment completely snapped pushing Todd onto the ground (as everyone around him was screaming) and proceeded to punch him multiple times which prodded Markko to try and pull him off of Todd, but instead of getting him off Todd, he fell back into Matthew and Destiny's hands breaking the twoof them appart.

"No! Cole! Stop it! That's enough!" Starr screamed franticly causing Cole to pause a brief moment . Then he hit Todd again.

"What are you doing? Cut it out Cole!" Markko yelled, Cole ignored him and hit Todd yet again.

"Cole Stop it! Cole! Cole! Please stop! Please stop!" Starr yelled panicked. Cole looked at her yet again but refused to listen to her. Matthew pulled Destiny closer his arm wrapped around her waist.

"I'll kill you." Cole stated in an ice cold voice lifting Todd's upper half off the ground and punched him causing Todd to fall back on the ground.

"No! Cole! Stop it!" Starr screamed. Todd was punched once again.

"Cole what are you doing?" Markko exclaimed. Cole punched Todd yet again. Markko and Matthew shared a look of understanding and Matthew reluctantly let go of Destiny's waist. They made their way over to Cole and pulled him off Todd and onto the stage, stuggling to maintain control of him.

"Hold on, Cole! Stop now!" Markko said.

"Get off me!" Cole growled. They weren't able to hold him back much longer and he impaled on Todd once again.

"Cole! Stop it!" Langston yelled.

"Cole! Cole! For God sakes please stop! Please don't do this! Please! No! Stop it! Oh my God!" Starr cried. He was once again standing next to Destiny.

Almost everyone started shouting and it was hard to understand what they where saying.

"Cole!" Starr shouted.

"Cole!" Markko yelled.

"Stop! Starr! Stay away!" Blair exclaimed. Markko and Nate pulled Coke off Todd and they too were struggling for control of him which was hard since Cole was acting like some wild animal. Matthew looked over to see Tea and Blair trying to help Todd up.

"Come on, Get up." Blair encouraged.

"Get up Todd! (At that moment Cole was loose yet again) Stay away from, Stay away from him!" Tea yelled. Cole punched him yet again causing a scream to be let out, source unkown.

" Cole, Stop it!" Blair exclaimed and he once again ignored everyones pleas for him to stop and he picked up Todd and banged his head against a metal table. There was a lot of comotion as Todd once again hit the ground. Matthew and the rest of the guys took this as an opportunity to take him away from Todd and they all where holding onto him tightly on the bleachers.

"Oh my God!" Dani exclaimed. Tea grabbed hold of Dani. "Don't look! Don't look!

"Can you hear me Todd?" Blair asked a clearly unresponsive Todd.

"Did somebody call the cops?" Blair called out.

"I'm on it (Matthew's eyes trailed to her frame) . Yeah we need an ambulance at ... " Destiny said moving further away and he wasn't able to make out what she was saying. Darn.

"Cole hey man we want to let you go but you got to cool down,can we let you go?" Markko asked gently.

"No! Don't let him go!" Langston exclaimed. Seconds later they let him go outside the auditorium with Markko. Matthew made his way off the bleachers and off to find Destiny.

"Come on, I know you can hear me? Come on." Blair pleaded.

"Mom, is he even breathing?" Starr asked.

"Will some one dial 911? My dad needs help." Starr cried frantically.

"Listen to me I'm going to keep talking to you." Blair said.

"This is ridiculous! Where's the ambulance?" Starr yelled. Matthew went out of the auditorium where he spotted Destiny and she told him the status on the ambulance. They made there way into the auditorium once again, his hand on her back until they got inside.

"They're on their way." Matthew said.

"Dad! Dad." Starr said.

"He's breathing?' Tea asked surprised.

"Oh my god. Look at him." Dani cried out. He did want to comfort her but decided now was a to leave her with Starr,Blair and her mom. So he , Destiny and Nate made their way towards the back on the auditorium and turned to face everyone else.

"Dani must be freaking. She was just telling me she was ready to give her dad a second chance." Nate commented.

"Yeah it sucks." Matthew replied solemnly.

"I'm going to check on her." Nate said taking a few steps forward. Matthew also took a few steps forward and stopped Nate.

"I'll check on her but thanks for your concern." Matthew replied firmly.

"Like that's where you concern really lies." Nate muttered.

"Excuse me?" Matthew said atonished.

"I saw your eyes always lingering on Destiny over there." Nate whispered so she wouldn't hear them.

"You better watch your mouth." Matthew whispered furiously.

"Or what? You going to tell your mistress all about it?" Nate asked quietly but cockily. Matthew's eyes darkened considerably and took a step closer to Nate.

"You better watch your mouth otherwise I will use my uncle's shotgun on and no one would be none the wiser. She's not my mistress as you put but your one to talk Nate since I know for a fact you want my girlfriend who I'm know going to check up on her." Matthew said icily leaving behind a speachless Nate as he made his way over to Dani.

"Hey." He greeted.

"Hey. You know I need to make a phone call, all right? I'll be back, okay?" Tea asked and Dani just nodded. Tea then walked away.

"I don't think you will have to talk to the cops. We all did. We all saw it." Matthew said.

"Yeah. Thanks." Dani replied.

"I wish I could just make it all just go away. I just keep thinking about the words, you know? " My sister's boyfriend (Dani takes a seat on the bleachers) just beat (he joined her) my father half to death because he thought that my father tried to kill his mother." What am i supposed to do with that?" Dani asked woefully. He felt like he should comfort her somehow but touching her wouldn't feel right with all his recent developments. Timing just sucks sometimes.

"Nothing I think you just let it be , you know? You can't try and make sense of it." He replied carefully.

"No, it makes perfect sense. (She turns to face him) It's just so insane. Now I don't make sense." Dani replied dejectedly.

"Yes you do. Come on I think you need to take a walk." He suggested lightly.

Destiny couldn't keep her eyes off of Matthew especially in light of recent events. Their kiss that they shared earlier was bringing up feelings she had thought were dormant. Also the fact that he _caressed _her waist,she had felt like she was going to die. Which is also how she felt when she noticed his uhm you know earlier. But there was no way he was going to leave Dani for her. No way.

"Life imitates art." Nate said shaking her out of her thoughts.

"Is that a headline?" She snapped. Gesh could this guy be a little more inconsiderate?

"Maybe. It's like instant karma or role reversal, only this time it's Cole beating up Todd. It's a great twist." Nate replied. Wow she couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. She shook her head.

"Maybe in a story but this is Dani's life." She retorted. He was getting on her nerves.

"I know." Nate replied smugly.

"Do you? Do you also know that Dani is Matthew's girlfriend?" Destiny asked. As much as she hated to admit that was true, at least for now.

"You sure about that?" Nate retorted taking a step closer to her.

Destiny faltered for a brief second befor composing herself. "Believe it Matthew may not say this, but I will. If you have eyes for Dani shut them now.'

Nate shook his head in disbelief. "And what about _your _eyes? Huh?"

Oh crap. "What do you mean _my _eyes?"

"You think I didn't see how your eyes were all over him today?" Nate asked smugly.

"You better shut up now Sallinger." She replied in a firm tone.

"Not to mention how you mouth was all over his." Nate replied smirking. What an ass.

"That was part of the script (dumbass she added silently) ." Destiny replied in an even tone.

"Oh so sticking your toungue down your boyfriends throat was part of the script?" Nate retorted cockily. Man she wanted to punch him in the face right now.

" 1. He's not my boyfriend. 2. It's called acting (idiot)." She replied angrily.

"It sure didnt look like that to me. You can't fake being turned on like you _both _clearly were." Nate responded.

"Are you sure about that? Cause you have got the nice guy act down pat. One more word out of your mouth and I will tell Dani about how much of an _asshole_ you are, And how you want to get in her pants."

"You think a walk would help?" Dani asked.

"Sure wouldn't hurt. That'd be a nic change." Matthew replied softly.

"Yeah,right?" She agreed as they both got up off of the bleachers.

"Listen I can't reach anyone at the hospital. I've gotta get over there. I - I got to see how Todd's doing." Tea interrupted.

"I'm going with you." Dani replied and so she left with her mom. He decided to get the remaining things from his locker so he could just go home. He walked over to his locker with his bag slung over his shoulder. A minute later it was all completed when he heard familiar footsteps so he slammed his locker shut.

"Dani will be okay." Destiny said sympathetically. If only was the only thing he had on his mind. He also had to deal with his feelings about Destiny and their kiss being replayed over and over again in his head.

"I hope so." He replied simply.

"I can't believe just a second ago, I was worried about Langston kissing some guy other than Markko." She replied. He was trying hard not to notice the tension that hung between them.

"Now it seems like no big deal, right?" Matthew asked bitting his lip and shaking his head slightly.

"Well if Markko ever finds out she's cheating on him it won't be from me." Destiny replied.

a/n: sorry for the long wait between updates. the reason is a mixture of personal issues and lazieness but I'm hoping you will still enjoy my story. i promise the next chapter will be up much sooner than this one was. I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite there wasn't too much mestiny featured in it. also do you guys enjoy the destiny pov? just curious and i want to know if I should use pov in stories more other then just doing matthews :)


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